a shoulder to cry on…
some times we just need a shoulder to cry on, and i’m finally seeing how much i’ve needed to just get this stuff out of my system.
of course, i’m talking about the hate crime that happened to me back on the 16th of december. it’s amazing how badly this has affected me. i have no concentration, i can’t focuse and i’m losing sleep at night. and it’s finally catching up to me.
and because of all this, i went to the on campus therapist to talk to her about this because i’m not acting like my normal happy-go-lucky self. it’s hard to explain. i just have no drive anymore. it’s like when this happened, my right to have a normal life was stripped away from me. and i don’t mean to sound all melodramatic about it. but it’s just like one day i was just me… going along as best as i could… and the next minute, my mind was assaulted with all kinds of feelings.
and i’m finding out that i’m angrier than i thought i could be. it’s just one of those things i guess.
and i didn’t realize that i was going to cry today… but i did. it’s amazing, i guess i’ve been bottling up my emotions to put up a “good face” to my friends… let them know that i’m allright, when really i’m not.
anyway, this is probably going to take some time for me to work through… and i know that it will get better.
i’m not fine. things aren’t going well. but they will… because i want them to.
Hey E,
Poor guy
I can imagine any one of us would have been profoundly effected had the same thing happened to us. There’’s no shame in it.
J